Privilegio

I have to admit, I am new to the words "white privilege". My first instinct? No, that's not me. I'm just your average white girl. I don't know about privilege. I'm not rich in education, advantage in American society, safety on the streets, a safe home, and an overall oppression-free life...

Oh, wait. Maybe I do have some privilege. And the truth is, I am grateful for the opportunities I have had. I believe everyone deserves to have an education, a career, and a safe home. A life without fear. 

Since Michael Brown's death, there has been a new mantra in America: "black lives matter". Some people have argued, "wait, but don't ALL lives matter?!" Well of course they do, and that's the point. Black lives matter, but white lives are valued more by our legal system, education system, employers, and government. 

We are talking about years, and years, and years... of oppression. Of lynchings, and now shootings. A study recently showed that a black person was shot two times a WEEK from 2005 to 2012.

This is the kind of thing I as a white person am trying, to begin, to understand. But never fully will.

I don't know what it's like to walk down the street and be profiled because of my race. Or not get a job because of the color of my skin. Or worry about my son going out to play with a toy gun because he could get shot by a police officer. Or be forced to immigrate to another country because there is no work and my children are starving.

We make assumptions about people all the time. I'm just going to go ahead and say it, everyone's a little bit racist. Our implicit biases are there, and it's up to us to become aware of them, and strive to change not only our actions but also our thought patterns.

Now, this conversation still makes me uncomfortable. I am working to change that, too. In the meantime, my goal is to be intentional. Racism does exist. We are NOT colorblind, because if we were, there would be justice and equality in our country. There would be people of all backgrounds hanging out at the local bar laughing and getting along. Instead, we self-segregate and do not seek opportunities to build relationships with people who look different from us.  

I am not trying to guilt anyone. Guilt, it turns out, is the opposite of productive. I'm talking about awareness. Waking up... and working together! 

"It is up to us to get busy, it is up to us to take responsibility. Not because we are guilty, but because we are here."

-Tim Wise

Ira

I can't sleep. I want to scream, or cry, or throw something against a wall. 

I believe in justice. Today, the Grand Jury decided not to indite Darren Wilson for the murder of Michael Brown. He won't even go to trial. 

What country do we live in? What IS this?

The sad truth is, justice rarely happens for people of color in the United States. Minorities fear police for a reason. Two times a week, an unarmed black man is shot in our country. This has been going on for a LONG TIME.

Michael Brown's case is heartbreaking, even more so after today's "verdict". But our country is waking up to this injustice. Brown's father made the following statement this week:

I do not want my son's death to be in vain, I want it to lead to incredible change, positive change... We live here together, this is our home. We're stronger united.

The media is sensationalizing the "riots", as if it comes as a surprise. Silence is not working. Voting is not working. Our justice system? Not working. And y'all, did they really have to wait until 8pm to announce the grand jury's decision? Outrage looks (and feels) more dramatic at nighttime. 

The people of Ferguson are blamed for their anger... But what option do they have? What option do we have? Black lives matter. If a white teenager had been killed by a police officer, there would have been a trial by now. We all know that... So how is it ok? 

We have fallen asleep. The people must rise up for true change to happen. To sit back and wait is not the answer. To let another black man be killed with no recourse...

This is a call to action. To peaceful protests, filling the streets. Social activism matters on social media, but if we stay behind our computer screens, we won't get very far.

"We protest so that some day, years from now, justice is not a surprise, 

nor a dream, nor deferred.

So that justice just is."

-Syreeta McFadden

Caminatta

Today, I took a walk. I know, that shouldn't be big news... walks happen all the time. But graduate school has not been easy and far too much of my time has been spent in front of a computer. I pass by Beryl Road every day, but never bother to turn down it. Today, I did. And it was the best choice I have made in a long time.

The arboretum at NC State is a beautiful place. I walked slowly down the paths, and laid in the sun. On that walk I saw red and orange leaves, and bright white flowers. I felt gratitude, and grief. I felt God's presence. I felt the beating of my own heart.

Being a social work student is emotionally intense. I knew that there were many injustices in our society and world, but to actually look at them up close, to see how much work we need to do... it's overwhelming.

I am excited about being a social worker because the social work community as a whole strives towards social justice. I am committing myself to a greater cause. But social justice is so big. It's such a responsibility. What a rich wealth of knowledge there is to learn. The truth is eye-opening, and heart-breaking.

I teach a free yoga class for social work students. The ironic thing is, that day I teach is one of the only days I actually do yoga. It used to be a daily part of my routine, but lately I just haven't made it a priority. And, my couch is really comfy.

It's a lot to balance. Self-care looks like different things on different days. And sometimes the thing we need is not necessarily the thing we want.

I've never been a very disciplined person when it comes to taking care of myself - I'd rather take care of someone else. Perhaps this is a common trait in social workers? We must strive to make self-care a priority in our lives. It will only make us better at what we do, and more effective in teaching self-care to others.

At the end of every yoga class I say, "thank you for taking care of yourself. This serves not only you, but everyone in your life."

Do you have a body? Don't sit on the porch!

Go out and walk in the rain!

If you are in love, then why are you asleep?

Wake up, wake up!

You have slept millions and millions of years.

Why not wake up this morning?

-Kabir

Aliad@s

On September 29, I officiated my first wedding for Allie and Shannon. It was a true honor. Not only was it an honor because it was for two people I love, but also because those two people happen to be two women in love. 

On November 8, two of my dear friends Preston and Michael finally tied the knot. I had asked them a couple of years ago why they didn't get married in D.C. or somewhere where gay marriage was legal. They answered, "we want to get married in our state." I remember thinking that could take a long time. Yet, here we are.

This year has been an incredible one for marriage equality. 

The day after gay marriage was legalized in North Carolina, I remember waking up and expecting the world to look different. Funny enough, everything looked the same. 

I still can't get over the fact that this decision is happening on a state-by-state basis. Marriage, to me, is a promise between two people that no government should be allowed to define.

In grew up in a liberal Baptist church. Watts Street is an amazing place. I was always free to question my beliefs and choose my own path. I remember there always being gay members in the church, many of whom were leaders. However, it took some time for Watts Street to officially become a "welcoming and affirming" congregation. I remember some members saying, "we don't need a sign out front saying that we're welcoming and affirming, we already are".

But that is just it. As individuals, we may think of ourselves as allies to gay, lesbians, bisexual and transgender people. Until there is true equality in all senses of the word, we do need the sign out front. We can't assume that everyone knows we are welcoming. 

We need to greet all people with open arms, and to welcome them out loud. To be advocates, and friends.

Muerte Digna

This past week Brittany Maynard, age 29, "took her own life". That is, she chose to die before her terminal brain cancer killed her.

The "Death with Dignity" movement has been put back in the national spotlight thanks to her unique situation. I understand why there is debate around what some call "assisted suicide". Having worked for hospice, I saw the suffering people went through in the dying process. In most cases the symptoms were manageable with medication and alternative therapies. While it is painful to become "child-like" in needing assistance with the smallest of things, I do think that death is (ideally) a natural and strangely beautiful process.

However, not all worlds are perfect and not all people live full lives. Brittany Maynard's seizures and headaches would have gotten worse, and she would have suffered much more before her death. She chose to die in peace, surrounded by the people she loved. I think that is what all human beings want, in the end.

What was so refreshing about her story is how openly she talked about her illness and her feelings about her own death. Our society treats death as an enemy. We want the latest plastic surgery, makeup to make us look younger, medicine to make our hair grow back.

November 1st was the Day of the Dead. This time last year, I was in the cemetery in Suchitoto, El Salvador. People visit the graves of their loved ones. They bring fake flowers, re-paint the tomb stones (always brightly colored), and remember their family members who have gone before them. The cemetery is full, a sea of people. There is food and laughter, and a mariachi band plays.

We can learn something from this tradition. Giving life to death - painting the gray tombstone a colorful green. Talking openly about how death affects us, and acknowledging that we are, in fact, fully alive. 

Dia de los Muertos - en Carolina del Norte

On Saturday, I went to the Day of the Dead event put on by the Farmworker Advocacy Network at the Oakwood Cemetery in Raleigh. There, we honored the farmworkers in North Carolina who died this past year due to heat stroke or difficult working conditions. Local farmworkers spoke and told their stories. They spoke of the need for equal rights for all people, for enough bathroom breaks and water to drink and wash their hands.

This is not a lot to ask. Yet, for our legislature has not made these simple labor rights a necessity. More than 150,000 farmworkers risk their lives in the fields every day. Labor Commissioner Cherie Berry is aware of the dangers that farmworkers face, and the fact that the law continues to allow children as young as 12 to face these dangers in the fields.

The Human Rights Watch recently did a report which stated that children as young as 7 were working (illegally) in tobacco fields. 75% of these children said that they had gotten sick at work, with nausea, headaches, skin conditions and respiratory illnesses.

This kind of child labor should not exist in our country. Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to be free? Give me those people, so I can put their young children to work in the tobacco fields?

Cherie Berry, stop turning a blind eye. Act to STOP child labor in North Carolina.

How do we [Americans] submit? 

By not being radical enough. Or by not being thorough enough, which is the same thing.
― Wendell Berry