La Pared

A lot has happened since I last wrote! The good news is, things are picking up with my work and new opportunities are arising.

Recently added:
-Music therapy group of kids with disabilities
-English class with 16(!) students, with lots of singing required for learning
-Every other week going to the countryside to accompany a physical therapist and special educator, working with kids with disabilities

Going to add this month:
-Yoga class every Tuesday afternoon
-Music classes in a small school in the countryside (El Bario)

It has been a slow process setting up my schedule, but looking back I'm glad it has been slow. When you are teaching in your second language it takes twice as long to prepare! Creativity takes a little more effort, but it is possible.

Chris has something like 25 piano students? It's been amazing how popular the piano is here. There aren't pianos for furniture like we have in the states, so kids and adults are really excited for the opporunity. There is a long list of people waiting for lessons!

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And then there is life outside of work. People here don't really "go out" so often. They do, however, love to sit and be, sit and visit, sit and watch television. It is a lot of sitting.

As we walk back to our apartment in the afternoon, we pass the same wonderful faces, sitting and relaxing, or standing at their doorway to watch the people. We are still moving fast, not used to sitting in the afternoons just yet.

Every afternoon there are 2 men, Roman and Jesus, sitting in our doorway. That's right, in our doorway. It is the perfect height for sitting. They always greet us, move out of the way, and then resume their afternoon of sitting. I can smell the cigarette smoke coming through our doorway.

I want to sit with them, but still I feel the need to go inside my own home, for my life to be private. One day I may forget about my walls. They will come down slowly, with time and openness.

Speaking of walls, I want to tell you about our dear friend Melina. She is an artist who lived here in Suchitoto for a month and volunteered at the Arts Center. In some of our most lonely days she was there, helping us to laugh and keeping us company. I am so grateful for her friendship. I think we learned a lot from each other.

She left her mark, that is for sure! Our walls are much more colorful now.

This is my hope
To live with lightness
As a feather floating in the breeze
And when the Serious takes hold of my heart
I will remember to breathe
And dance in the newness
That is the morning.

Discapacidades

I was excited to learn that there is an organization called Los Angelitos that serves children with disabilities here in Suchitoto. I went over to their office and asked the director, in broken Spanish, about what services they provide.

I am slowly learning how lucky we are to be from the United States. We have so many priveleges, so many wonderful social programs.

In El Salvador there are no services provided by the government for people with disabilities. There are no special education teachers. People with disabilities do not have the right to go to school. There are no funds for communication devices, or wheelchairs, or physical or speech therapy.

This is the reality. Many parents with children with disabilites struggle to make ends meet, since they have to hire someone to care for their child or care for them themselves. I met one mother that has a child with cerebral palsy. She has to pick her up to toilet her, move her, bathe her. The mother already has back problems and the child is only 9.

Los Angelitos was founded in Suchitoto by parents of children with disabilites. They wanted to band together, to fight for rights for their children. They attend protests and try to educate the government about their childrens needs. There are very few social programs here. The unemployment rate is high, the country is poor.

The parents in Los Angelitos have a spark in their eyes. After I described Lifeworks, the wonderful organization I worked for, one father told me, "look, we would love to have all of these services you talk about. If Barack Obama would send us some money, maybe. Here in El Salvador we have to advocate for our children."

Los Angelitos has been able to fund a special educator and physical therapist full time. Many of the kids with disabilites live in the countryside, so the teacher and therapist travel from home to home providing services. I am going to accompany them to the campo next week and learn about what they do and who they serve.

This morning I had my first music therapy group at Los Angelitos with 3 children with disabilites. One seems to have a sensory defecit disorder, one is deaf, and the other has mild MR. They are sweet kids, with supportive families. I am excited to work with them as we learn together!

I learned this hymn from the Brethren, it is in my heart today.

Will you let me be your servant,

Let me be as Christ to you? 

Pray that I might have the grace to

Let you be my servant too.

Independencia

Last weekend was el Dia de Independencia in El Salvador. Actually, it's the independence day for most of Central America.

There is really a sense of celebration of youth here. You can feel the pride of each family, and the acknowledgement that youth is sacred.

In Suchitoto they celebrated with a parade on Friday night, and a parade on Saturday morning, and speeches and dances after the Saturday parade.

The parade on Friday night was supposed to start at 6PM. So naturally we were there at 6, but the parade didn't start until almost 8. It was a funny mix of cultural outfits, marching bands, fairy tale characters, and cool torches. Probably the cooest parade Ive ever seen.

The high schoolers here are so beautiful, they all look like models. It's kind of intimidating. I think puberty starts early for El Salvadorans?!

We had hoped to go to a dance on Friday night. I even bought $20.00 shoes (so expensive...) for the dancing. However upon arrival it was not salsa music, but really bad reggaeton without words. The space was filled with high schoolers NOT DANCING, standing in a corner. Some things are the same no matter what culture you're in.

I have never been in a country where there is so much orgullo (pride). Pride in the people, the food, the peace, the present. And to think we just have fireworks on 4th of July.

"Life is no “brief candle” for me.   It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations."

-George Bernard Shaw



Dinero

This week, we are trying to actually stick to our budget. We recieve a monthly stipend for food, rent, and extra costs. The stipend is more than enough, but at the same time our budget it very different from the life we once lived.

Honestly, in Minnesota Chris and I never had to think of what we spent. Occasionally we talked about going out to eat too often, but that was about it. Here in El Salvador our food budget is $5.00 a day (total). We are lucky to have breakfast provided during our work week, but lunch and dinner are up to us.

Thank God for pupusas. The favorite food of El Salvador! They cost around 60 cents each, and 2 or 3 pupusas is enough for a meal. True, bread and cheese and beans is not exactly known as the most healthy meal. But, when you don't have much it is functional and tasty, too.

The prices are very similar to the states for some foods. For example, yogurt costs 60 cents for a tiny container, white bread costs $1.00, 6 eggs cost $1.00. Vegetables are much cheaper, and they taste better too.

The key with vegetables is that we have to cook them. There are parasites here that are easy for us extranjeros to catch. We do not drink the water here (we may try it eventually, but not yet).

Other than budgets and food, life is moving slowly along. Chris and I celebrated our 2 year anniversary last week, complete with a (splurge) bottle of wine! No doubt this experience has stretched us in many ways. I continue to be grateful for his easygoing spirit, his lightness about life.

We are building closer relationships with our roommates Noel and Elba, and spending a lot of time with Melina, another volunteer from the states. We had a great day with Mario and Sarah, the other BVSer and finally made it to Immanuel Baptist Church in San Salvador! What a warm and wonderful place.

"It's like someone laughing in your ear, challenging you to figure out what to do when you don't know what to do. It humbles you. It opens your heart."

-Pema Chondron

Creciendo

I can feel myself growing. Growing bright green leaves, reaching for the sun.

This past week has been full of altibajos (ups and downs). At times I think, "what am I doing here?" I am a stranger in this town, my Spanish is not good, the kids didn't sign up for my classes, what will I do with my free time... and so on. Other times I think, "what a wonderful place this is". I enjoy my conversations in Spanish where I am able to get my point across, and understand theirs. I enjoy my late afternoon coffee, my walk back home, the beautiful lake in the valley below.

The fact is this: we can't just show up in a community we don't know, teach exactly what we want, and expect people to participate.

So, we wait. We listen. We build relationships.

During our orientation I read a wonderful article that continues to help me in this journey. It is called "Staying for Tea", by a man who has many years of experience volunteering and organizing throughout Central America. He talks about the word "accompaniment", or "being with". He talks about asking directly what the community wants, and working alongside them.

This week no one came to my music and singing class, or to my photography class, or to my songwriting class. So, perhaps it is not a need or want of the children in this community. Or, perhaps putting up a sign is not enough.

Today I had the pleasure of "accompanying" the new choir at the arts center. The director from San Salvador was disorganized and without sheet music, I ended up leading some of the class with the few Spanish songs I know.

Afterwards I stood around with the kids and talked with them. They are all from nearby communities, and I imagine live with very little.

One young woman is 17 years old, and has a wonderful warmth about her. She told me she loves to learn, and seeks out music, dance and theater wherever she can. "This place (the arts center) is an opportunity," she told me. She hopes to go to university to study chemistry, but she does not know if she can get a scholarship. "If not, I will work," she said.

These are the things I have taken for granted. These are the people I will come to know and accompany.

"To get it right, we must be willing to see Christ in all humanity, to see the spark of the divine in the creation that was made in God's image."

-Aaron Ausland

Harpas

Centro Arte para la Paz has a harp group. Yes, that's right - children playing the harp in El Salvador. They are actually the only harp group in El Salvador, and they are very talented!

The program was started by a Canadian harp player named Wendy. She came to teach a group initially, and trained the local musician Orlando. Every Sunday, Orlando oversees as Wendy teaches the group of teenagers harp lessons over Skype. She comes to Suchitoto every 3 months to assist the students in their learning.

This program is funded by STIMMA, Short Term International Medical Missions Abroad. I find it wonderful they would find value and need in music as a means for healing!

Last Sunday we went to the Pueblos Vivos! festival in San Salvador with the harp group. There were booths of artisans from many of the pueblos in El Salvador. It was interesting to see all the different crafts and foods (and coffee) that each village makes.

We felt a bit awkward, since we don't know the kids and leader of the harp group very well. And of course there is the language barrier. This is part of the experience, and we are both learning to live in that awkwardness.

This reminds me of part of the poem I shared, The Invitation. "I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive." I often feel a bit foolish here in El Salvador. Chris and I laugh that thus far, others have helped us far more than we have helped them.

En Realidad

I showed up this morning excited for my "Musica y Canto" class. "No hay nadie," she said. It is harder to get kids to talleres in the morning, they aren't as motivated. My heart sank a little bit.

My computer class this afternoon has 9 people in it. It will be 2 hours, regarding the basic basics of computers. How to turn it on, how to open a program, how to type, how to use Microsoft Word, etc. I am nervous about my Spanish skills regarding computer terms... but it will come.

Here is our horario, in case you're interested:

Jenna
Martes - 9:00 Music and Singing, 1:30 Computer
Miercoles - 9:00 Song writing, 2:00 Photography
Jueves - 1:30 Computer
Viernes - Music in the small towns
Sabado - Skateboard supervising, assist with choir

Chris
Martes - 9:00 Drums, 2:00 Piano Lessons
Miercoles - 1:30 Computer
Jueves - 2:00 Piano Lessons
Viernes - Music in the small towns
Sabado - Skateboard supervising, piano lessons

Chris has a long waiting list for piano lessons, so I might teach some students as well. In reality, the things that I most want to teach (singing, music) may not be the most popular or most needed right now. People want to take English and computers, and for good reason.

This is different from a job, where our roles are clear. Chris and I are here at the Arts Center to fill a need. There are currently two other volunteers here, but both of them are short-term. Last year the Arts Center had 6 volunteers. So, we are providing the "meat" of the programming!

Ah, structure. One of the things I love most in life. It is important for all of us, especially children, to have structure in their day. I hope the things we teach provide meaning. I hope the things the children teach us help us grow. I hope.

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.

Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.


-- Jelaluddin Rumi

Poema

A poem that is on my heart today. The Invitation, by Oriah Mountain Dreamer.

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dreams
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life's betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your
fingers and toes
without cautioning us to
be careful
be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.

If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand on the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
"Yes."

It doesn't interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after a night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the center of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.