When the tantrum is over, how do we pick ourselves off the ground, and move on?
This summer, I am nannying for a 5 year old with autism named Jack. He delights in the smallest things. We saw a butterfly on a flower, and he said, "Jenna! The butterfly's saying hello to me!" We saw a flower that needed water and he asked with great concern, "Jenna, is the flower sad?" He also notices things other kids wouldn't, like me missing my turn while driving- "Jenna! I want to go HOME!" or that my coffee cup is in the car from the previous day - "Jenna, is your coffee yucky and old?"
Jack has a hard time leaving things he enjoys. We make regular trips to the museum, a magical place with lemurs and trains and paper airplanes. The last time we went, I gave him warnings: 20 minutes, 15, 10 and 5. Still, at the "times up, let's go home" moment, he sat down and wouldn't move.
His tantrums are not the yelling type. He just sits there, like he's gone into a catatonic state and physically cannot move nor hear me.
At least 5 minutes went by. Finally he looked up at me: "I want to ride the elevator, he said". So, we rode the elevator up and down. He proceeded to sit down in the elevator. I held the door open. It began to beep its scary, emergency beep. It was time to move.
"Ok Jenna, let's go," he said. And we ran through the weather exhibits and the building blocks, and made it finally to the car. I was frustrated - what did I do wrong? I wanted him to have a good time and then immediately be ready to go.
Perhaps all Jack needed was a little time. At the end, he didn't hold on to his anger. He left with joy, ready for the next adventure.
And so am I.
"You do not need to know precisely what is happening, or exactly where it is all going. What you need is to recognize the possibilities and challenges offered by the present moment, and to embrace them with faith, courage and hope."
-Thomas Merton
