El Punto de mi Lengua

Sometimes I do not think we realize the impact we have on each other. How sensitive we are. How much we long for a sense of belonging. How one person's words can change our day, or week.

Our Spanish is getting better. I have to laugh whenever Chris opens his mouth and says a word in Spanish that I don't know. It is a strange, wonderful and frustrating process, learning a language. I do feel however that maybe the hardest part is over.

There is an initial fear that comes with speaking a new language, being in a new country. Not understanding the world around you is a scary feeling. Certainly, you can communicate a lot with signs and the few words you know, but it can be hard and lonely. It takes an openness to being young again, I think. Like a child, not understanding much and asking a lot of questions.

Ugh it is so frustrating at times I want to give up and go home. Especially when a larger group is talking, with a lot of slang. It sounds like nonsense. I do think we only have so much capacity, and then our brains need a break.

But, we are at a point now where we understand the majority of what is being said to us, and can respond. Granted, our grammar is bad and we are lacking a lot of vocab. But, we are on our way. 

It is a strange feeling. I can listen to a person speak in Spanish, and it is as if my brain knows but I still do not know. I could not repeat exactly what they said, nor could I define all the words. But I know the meaning, more or less.

When a 7 year old kid at the skateboard park corrects your grammar and teaches you new words, you know you are in a humble place. A good place, too!

You have to laugh at yourself. My favorite errors recently:
-"Yo quiero guacala" - I want gross. I meant to say cuahada which is a type of cheese.
-"Vamos a decir adios a espana" - We are going to say goodbye to Spain. 
-Chris - "Ok class, vamos a hacer ejercitos". We are going to make soldiers. The response from the class: FMLN! FMLN!

What an adventure. It is such a good feeling to be able to converse now, to feel like we are truly able to build relationships here in Suchi. With mixed up, funny grammar, but the people here are nice to us just the same.

"Learn a new language, speak a new world."

-Rumi

La Grama Es Siempre Mas Verde

I am tired, and sick this week. I think it's a cold, but I keep sweating and the headaches are bad. 

Suchitoto is very... "tranquilo" as they say here, and it is even more tranquilo when you should stay in bed. I feel bored, and then I think back to the many times in my life that I have been busy and anxious. I think about that, and I remember to be grateful for quiet and calm.

Yet, there is always a story to tell. We are here in El Salvador on tourist visas, which means we have to leave the country every 90 days. Our 90 days is coming up, November 4th. Hard to believe we have been in Central America this long!

Anyhow, we have been told that we can extend our visa one time, and tried to research the process online. We came to the Government Center in San Salvador with all our papers, thinking we would easily be approved. Alas, it was not so easy.

We need some official documents from the Arts Center, to fill out a different form, specific things in a letter from them, and lots of things notarized. All in all the notarized pages may cost $50.00 or so, I am not sure. That's what we get for trusting the internet, eh? 

After that excitement we went to the Gallerias, one of the many malls in San Salvador. It felt so strange, like we were back in the US. To make up for our disappointment, we got coffee from STARBUCKS. There is a Starbucks in El Salvador? Yes. And the lattes? Are the exact same price. Sigh. Still delicious.

We decided to get some more experience with the bus system here, and took a bus over to the Postal Center for Chris to pick up a package. I sat next to the kindest older man, and he and I talked about music and learning languages. We were so enjoying talking that he forgot to tell us where to get off the bus! Thankfully Chris was paying attention and we found our way.

That day we probably asked 20 different people questions about where to go or what bus to take. Each one of them took the time to help us find our way, and would do their best to make sure we got there. I do think El Salvadorans are some of the nicest people I have met, ever.

We waited for about 3 hours at the Customs center of the Postal Center. Waited, and waited. Each person had their name called 3 separate times, to talk to 3 different people. It was a prime example of infrastructure gone wrong. Inefficiency at its worst. 

When we arrived we sat down in one chair. The guard-in-charge instructed us to move to another chair. Then he separated us in different chairs. Then we were moved again. I hope someone was video taping those moments, because it was pretty funny.

At 2:00 I announced to the guard-in-charge that I was hungry. He responded, "oh, there's food right up the hill over there. You can bring some back for your husband." Fine. I went up the wrong hill, landed in another office. They called down to security, "a white girl is going to go through the gate to get food." I showed up at the gate. "We've been waiting for you," they told me. They raved about all the street food and where I could go. After 10 minutes of chatting, I headed on my way.

There was very little left at 2:00, after the lunch rush. We got 2 Mexican Sandwiches, which were basically mayonnaise with ham. Boy was it good.

After the great waiting, we took another bus to MetroCentro, another mall that is even bigger than the Gallerias. Looking at all the signs, you'd think you were in the states. Everything is in English.

San Salvador has a lot of problems with gang violence and extortion. Because of that, the malls are one of the safer places to go to hang out. So, everyone goes there - it is the place to be.

I was struck by the huge difference between the rural communities of Suchitoto to the malls of San Salvador. The shoes are insanely expensive in the malls - I mean $60-$80 for some flats - and there are people that can pay these prices. Yet there are many people without work, who can barely afford tortillas to eat. 

I realize that these economic differences exist in the states too, but it seems to be even more so here. There is not a living wage, and most things are the same price as they are in the states. Who won the war, really? You can smell the American consumerism in the air.

Anyhow, the visa saga continues. Thanks to the great staff at CAP we will have our papers by Monday, pay the big bucks to get them notarized, catch a ride in to San Salvador with Peggy, and turn them in. Then we will have to return later that week to pick up our passports, if they are approved that is!

"...and the best thing you've ever done for me 

is to help me take my life less seriously

it's only life, after all"

-Indigo Girls

Got to use that machete to chop that coconut

My computer class graduated! 

Celebrating with chocobananos 

At the top of Suchitoto!

You are beautiful!

 Nova with the remains of her pillow. Looks like the pillow won?

Amigos de verdad

A wise woman once told me, "there are cool people everywhere".

It is still hard to imagine a group of friends as wonderful and full of life as our friends in Minnesota. We had a mountain of support, community. It makes my heart ache sometimes, to think of you.

But here we are in a new country, speaking in a new language, building a new community.

We are living in a tourist town, and there is a hostal at the arts center where we work. We see a lot of people come and go, and it is fun getting to know them. We have met some volunteers from Spain, people from Mexico, Germany, Holland, Italy. It is fun getting to know new people, and hard to see them go.

We live with two awesome Salvadorans, Noel and Elba. They are both fantastic, with a great sense of humor and openness to our friendship.

A couple of weeks ago, Elba knocked on our door at 8AM Sunday morning. I was still sleeping. I stumbled out of bed and opened the door. "Cambiamos nuestra plan, vamos a la playa, quieres ir?" Ok, let's go to the beach.

We spent about 6 hours in the car together, in total. El Salvador is a tiny country with a lot of holes in their roads. It took us a bit longer than we expected to reach the beach, and afterwards travel to their parents house in Cabanas. Chris and I were in the back of their truck, with Siamara Elba's sister.

We ate fish, threw sand, tossed a ball, ran from the waves. It was a great day. A celebration of life day.

We have also had the chance to meet Sara and Konstantin in San Salvador. Sara is a yoga teacher who has been helping me learn the yoga vocabulary in Spanish. Her boyfriend Konstantin is from Russia, and teaches Kung Fu.

What a cool couple! They introduced us to MetroCentro, a gigantic mall in San Salvador. Last weekend we traveled with them to the Puerta del Diablo, a beautiful view of the mountains and the city. We even got to eat Chinese food.

So, we are making friends. People do not "go out" at night like we are used to, they are much more family-focused in general. We spend a lot more time at home, reading and doing laundry and such. (Laundry takes a lot longer than I expected).

"In the end, maybe it's wiser to surrender before the miraculous scope of human generosity and to just keep saying thank you, forever and sincerely, for as long as we have voices.”

-Elizabeth Gilbert

Bien Extraño

Last week, we got a phone call from a guy named Edwin. He wanted us to be in a documentary about tourists in El Salvador, or something. I stumbled through the phone conversation in Spanish, confused. It ended with him responding, "so you can come on Wednesday to San Salvador?"

The trip to San Salvador takes an hour and a half by bus. We have taken it a few times now. It is always crowded and hot, but it gets you where you need to go. The minute you arrive in San Salvador, you can feel the thick pollution in the air. The traffic is made up of 80% buses, all old school buses from the United States with bright colors "God bless you" written on the front.

I would say they are very "blinged out".

We left Wednesday morning at 4:30 in the morning, flagged down the bus just in time. We arrived in San Salvador and took at taxi to el Hospital Divina Proveidencia and the Capilla where Oscar Romero was shot and killed. The hospitalito is a beautiful place, a place of rest. The hospital is a hospice home, the only home of its kind in El Salvador. Its palliative care services are free, and they provide food and rest for families as well.

We sat outside the grounds for almost 2 hours waiting for the video crew to arrive. While we were waiting we talked to a man whose brother had just died during the night. It was powerful to connect with him, and while we could not fully express or understand his grief we were glad to have been there in that moment.

The video crew brought 10 other tourists that they picked up from a hostal in El Tunco. El Tunco is the party beach, and these tourists were party people.

It was a strange realization, that we had very little in common with these travelers. We are not tourists here, and we are not 21 anymore.

One man took his shirt off and laid in the parking lot to get a tan. Two others got big beers to enjoy at 10AM. Two wandered off to a museum down the street without telling anyone. Another tourist wandered looking for pupusas.

In the meantime Chris and I got makeup put on, and walked into the chapel to begin the video.

I will admit this was not the way that we wanted to experience the place where Oscar Romero died. He is truly a Jesus figure in El Salvador, the archbishop who stood up and called to an end to the violence by the El Salvadoran government. He rose up in the name of equality, and for that he was killed. 250,000 people came to his funeral, and in the middle of the service a bomb went off and shots began. Many say that his funeral was in fact the beginning of the El Salvadoran civil war.

We stood in this holy place and were given directions. Lucky for us we did not have to say anything for this video, only repeat the same tourist-esque motions many times.

As we traveled to the next location, I talked to a tourist about traveling, and was telling him how beautiful Croatia was. He said "but dude, you can't surf in Croatia". True enough.

The next place we went was the Metropolitan Cathedral, where the Oscar Romero's crypt is. There is a beautiful carving of him lying there, his face kind and gentle.

I stood with the other tourists as they videoed, and we continued talking. "Dude, who is this guy?" one girl asked. I explained who Romero was, and what happened at his funeral. She had never heard the story before, I was glad to share it.

I turned to the guy next to me, "so, you're traveling around El Salvador?" "Well, I wouldn't really call it traveling, cause I don't really like going place to place". "Oh, so you're on vacation?" He responded, "well, I wouldn't really call it a vacation, I'm just living my life and surfing, you know".

And that my friends is the definition of a hipster.

At the end of the day, we had an... interesting... experience and were paid for our time acting like tourists for the tourist video. Perhaps one day it will be on Youtube? Based on the pace of El Salvadorans, we might see the video in a year or so!

It is my hope that whatever the final product may be that it will lead to more people wanting to know the story of Oscar Romero and the story of El Salvador. As I learn it enriches my life and my faith. I have great admiration for these people who have suffered so much, yet smile so often as I pass them on the street.

"Peace is not the product of terror or fear. Peace is not the silence of cemeteries. Peace is not the silent result of violent repression. Peace is the generous, tranquil contribution of all to the good of all. Peace is dynamism. Peace is generosity. It is right and it is duty."

-Archbishop Oscar Romero

Negocios Locales

Ah, the ease of Target. In truth I cringe everytime I walk in a big store like that, the American consumerism, the overstimulation. But here I am, missing the Targets and Wal-Marts of the world. Yet there is something to be said for supporting a local economy - and building relationships.

It has taken us quite some time to learn how to shop for food and household items here in Suchitoto. There is a hardware store, a household goods store, lots of small shops for non-perishable foods, and a mercado for meats and vegetables.

There is one small shop that has curry, another that has lunch meat. We have yet to find one that carries peanut butter, but there's always San Salvador.

The mercado always makes me laugh. It is loud and hot, and everyone wants your business. They make suggestions... eggplant? Lettuce? Strawberries? Pretty soon you've bought more than you had planned, but fresh produce is good for you.

In our neighborhood there are secrets to be learned. Four homes up from ours, the place with the orange wall, sells tortillas. Across the street, the house with lots of children, sells delicious cheese called cuahada. They also have quesadilla night on Sunday. A ways up the road, the house with the big yellow wall, sells big bottles of water.

There are no signs on these houses, we have just learned this by asking around. It is great fun to get to know the faces around us, and hopefully eventually their names too.

The downside of having a neighborhood where everybody knows your name is that everybody also knows where you live. 

Antonio never wears a shirt. He is amazingly tan, and seemingly without skin cancer? He is very friendly, always joking with us as we pass him in the mornings and afternoons. He has invited us to church multiple times, we have yet to go. He occasionally asked us for money in the beginning, but he stopped after a while. 

Last night he knocked on our door and said he needed to eat and could we give him some change. My heart sank. It seemed as if he had been drinking, and probably wanted money for more beer. We cannot be known as the American couple that gives out free money. Yet our country has the reputation of being wealthy, and on the whole we are.

It takes time to break down stereotypes. Culture and identity are beautiful things, but perhaps before anything else we should think of ourselves as human beings of the human race. No person is the same, no country defines who we are.

      "What if our religion was each other

     If our practice was our life

     If prayers our words

     What if the temple was the Earth

     If forests were our church

     If holy water, the rivers, lakes and oceans

     What if meditation was our relationships

     If the Teacher was life

     If wisdom was self knowledge

     If love was the center of our being?"

                                        ~Ganga White