Traviesa

We adopted a sweet black doggie from El Salvador. She was truly the cutest. She was blind, but we didn't care. She was ours. As she got older, her behaviors got more and more strange. She became aggressive, growling and showing her teeth at odd moments. We got a "slip leash" and confined her to the kitchen. "She's just a teenager," we thought.

One MRI later, we learned that she had severe hydrocephalus. As in, she only had a brain stem and a cerebellum - the rest was fluid. It was devastating. You can give dogs with hydrocephalus steroids for the swelling, but it won't bring their brain back.

We made the hard decision to put her to sleep. We watched as the injection went in, and the life slowly slipped out of her. I don't think I've ever cried so hard in my life! It was also the most peaceful death I could have imagined.

We loved that dog so much. But it was more than just a dog... she was like our first "child". I will be forever grateful for her, because she taught us that we could be caregivers. We worked as a team to take care of a complicated case, and we did everything we possibly could for the little pup.

The beautiful part of this story, the part I will remember most, is how kind all of our 'health care providers' were. From the dog trainer (Claire), to the vet (Dr. Meade) and her vet tech (Paisley), to the behavioral specialist (Dr. Orlando - who helped us get funds for the MRI!) to the neurology vet (Dr. Sampson). They were all part of our journey, and honestly... they had much better bedside manner than any medical doctor I have known.

Health care professionals don't realize what a difference they make. At our most vulnerable, we so need genuine, kind practitioners. This is something to remember as I go 'deeper' into learning mental health care as a social worker.

I am in grief, grief for my life in El Salvador, for my life in Minnesota, for my life in college, for my life in Ireland... Grief for all the relationships I built with all those wonderful people. I miss it, I want to go back...And then I think of all these amazing experiences I've had and I think, "What am I complaining about?"

Gratefulness is the heart of it all. That maybe there is no end point, no mountaintop. Just keep climbing, and enjoy the view.

"It is good to have an end to journey towards, but it is the journey that matters in the end."   -Ursula LeGuin

Thank you, Travi, for the journey. You were a little monster crazy dog, and we loved you.