It is difficult to describe what the past two years have meant to me. How they have shaped me, confused me, changed my perspective. For two years I walked in the same five block radius, seeing the same people. My world was smaller. I couldn't run away from myself as easily. I couldn't run away from anyone, actually.
I began to become more in touch with myself. My breath, my emotions, my aching back. I noticed it all. I began to appreciate the people around me, celebrating their hellos, finding conversation in the smallest of things.
I am struck by how fast we can move from place to place in a car, missing everything that is happening in those 20 miles that go whurring by. The thing that has surprised me being back in the states is that I find it sad. I am sad to have left all my dear friends, but I am also sad to see with new eyes how separated we are from each other. The internet connects us, yet keeps us glued to a computer as opposed to looking each other in the eye. Our supermarkets are big and have everything we want, yet still we are wanting. There is an emptiness in this overdeveloped culture.
What I am trying to say is, I believe that Salvadorans are happier than us. They spend more time in community, with family. When someone dies, they have a vigil all night long. Hundreds of people attend. They don't want the family members to be alone
But, this is a total generalization. Happiness doesn't live in the new house, or a place, or your perfect job. Happiness is a choice. It lives deep within us, at the core of our being. It is not ecstasy, but simplicity. A deep breath in, followed by a sigh.
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