Sermón

I have been meaning to post this homily that I gave at St. Luke Presbyterian back in August! I shared some thoughts and things I've learned, and Chris and I sang, and the communion consisted of mango juice and tortillas. All the kids in the church went back for seconds!

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I asked one of my English students what I should tell you today. He said, “you should tell the truth, that’s what God wants.” He explained that sometimes the truth is hard to hear, but it is important and we need to listen.

Recently, I went to the home of a student to eat lunch. The mother didn’t know me, and didn’t have much, and yet she filled my bowl with beans, rice and cheese. I looked around her house. Two simple rooms, and an outhouse where a young girl did her math homework on the walls. No television, no tables. Fish caught from the river swimming in the water they use to wash their dishes and brush their teeth.

The majority of my students sleep in one room houses with flimsy tile roofs. They eat a lot of beans and tortillas, because it’s cheap. The arts center provides money for transportation for our choir, because they couldn’t afford to come otherwise.

“I could never live like that,” I might have said before. But when that is your only option, of course you live ‘like that’. Imagine not having things. Imagine not having places to go. Imagine that, in your free time you sit on your front porch and talk with your family. You tell jokes, you enjoy a cold fruit juice. A beautiful life. 

The truth is, we have lived in El Salvador for a year. We have taught classes, and gotten paid a fair wage by the Brethren Volunteer Service. I often feel spoiled – we receive breakfast every morning from the arts center, we have money to go out for pupusas, we are living a comfortable life. 

People often talk about “reverse mission” – this idea that the ones going to volunteer are the ones who will truly be served. There is so much truth to that. I came to Suchitoto hoping to help people, and in the process I have been helped. I have experienced genuine love and gratitude from my students, co-workers and new friends. They have been amazingly patient with my Spanish. I have hundreds of Spanish teachers!

Learning a second language can make you feel stupid. It can make you feel fantastic. Most of all, it keeps your ego in check. It is like transforming into a child again, who makes a lot of mistakes and is afraid to speak. We tell our co-workers at Centro Arte that our Spanish is in the coffee, along with our courage.

We have both had moments of frustration, and strong emotion. Living in a small town where the average temperature is 92 degrees means that everything comes out. The good, the bad and the worse. Sometimes we have felt stuck in a bubble, running into the same people over and over again. And if you dislike someone? Tough, they still live here. And if you are tired and you just want to go home? Tough, you still have to say hello to everyone you meet along the way to your house.

But isn’t that community? Through the good and the bad, you still say greet each other. You acknowledge one another. You look each other in the eye and say, “I see you”.

I love asking El Salvadorans “what will you do this weekend?” The answer is almost always, “relax”. And they actually do! Everyone has at least one hammock in their house, and the intentionally rest there when they can. The hammock in our home is a holy place, it has been my teacher and continues to rock me even when I am not resting in it.

When Chris and I are not relaxing, we are working hard. I have ended up teaching a bit of everything at the Arts Center for Peace. Yoga, which has been a wonderful blessing. English, a bit of a challenge but always rewarding. Music education for kindergarten through fourth graders both in our small town and in a rural community. Poetry, an extreme challenge for someone still learning how to speak Spanish. Basic computer skills, everything from how to use a mouse to the internet. Directing our choir at Centro Arte, where we sing pop songs and laugh a lot. 

It feels like everything I love and have learned I am now teaching. Every learning opportunity I have had, I now have the opportunity to pass on to others.

It’s an odd mix of jobs, but the thing that holds it all together is that I am teaching children and young adults things that they otherwise would not have access to. Music, poetry, yoga, computers, choir… these are things that are not offered in schools, or universities – especially not for free.

The truth is we are wealthy people living among poor people. I never realized I was wealthy, but now I know that I am. The man down the street from me has needed a knee surgery for the past 6 months, and doesn’t have the money. He continues to be in pain and on crutches. If I did not have the money for a surgery like that, I would just ask for help from family and friends. That doesn’t work in rural El Salvador, when your family and friends are also in poverty. 

Yet I often feel that the people here are so much richer than I am. They know how to live with little. They enjoy things to a deeper extent. They truly appreciate the opportunities they’re given. They know suffering. They have lived through a horribly violent war. The gangs of El Salvador continue spreading a culture of violence. Yet still, on a Sunday afternoon spending time with their family, Salvadorans seem full of joy.

I sing a “rules song” with my music classes. “En esta clase, vamos a ser amables, en esta clase vamos a escuchar, en esta clase no peleamos, ahora vamos a cantar!” In this class, we will be nice, we will listen, we will not fight. Now we’re going to sing! One day, in the middle of a movement activity two children began pushing each other. I had my back turned, and the kids stopped dancing and began to sing. “En esta clase, vamos a ser amables…” That is my favorite part about teaching. Seeing how the students might take the knowledge and songs they are given, and teach each other. And of course, I hope that they sing more often!

In the midst of frustration – conflicts at work, students being very late or not showing up, struggling with Spanish, socioeconomic injustice, gangs extorting money from their own people… In the midst of it all, I find myself walking down a cobblestone street in El Salvador and thinking, “there is no place I would rather be”.

Chris and I are not in El Salvador “changing the world”. We are living, and learning alongside the people who have become our friends. We are grateful for your support as we have walked through this journey, your prayers and thoughts and donations.

“If you have come to help me, you are wasting your time. But if you have come because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us work together” 

-Lila Watson

Vamos a Jugar

When I walk past the school, I feel a little bit like a rockstar. Kids come running to the fence to say hello to me. “Jenna! Adios! See you Monday for music class!” Groups of first and second graders watch be walk down the street until I am out of sight. I cannot walk past without feeling like I have received a giant hug from every child I see.

Chris and I teach music education to over 200 children in the town of Suchitoto, in the school next to Centro Arte named El Grupo. Kids here don’t know many songs, singing is more for churches than children. We give them the opportunity to learn how to sing (not yell…) and also to play instruments, learn about music from different cultures. We have fun together.

I also go to La Mora, which is a rural community where I teach music to 75 kids. Last week I received at least 20 hugs and kisses, and 4 pieces of art from some kids from some 2^nd and 3^rd graders! This is the first time I’ve received art from the kids, I think it’s a sign they like me! Haha.

I have never felt so appreciated as I do when I go to the rural school. The kids are so full of joy. Granted, some still roll their eyes and ask why we can’t play guitar. A little boy in my class rang the school bell last week and everyone thought school (and music class) was over for the day.

I sat down with the kids and explained, “this makes me sad. It hurts my feelings. If you respect me, I will respect you. Ok? Next week will be better, right?!” And all the kids yelled in response, “siiiiii!” I have learned that yelling and reacting in anger is not very effective. I am trying to build the kids up, to encourage and empower them instead of scold them. It’s a tricky balance!

Sometimes I feel guilty. I feel so loved here. The children are so fascinated by me, they want to sit by me (all of them) and play with me in their free time and ask me what my favorite color is.

I feel I am a representative of the United States, where so many of their parents and grandparents, aunts and uncles live. They cannot visit there. To get a tourist visa, the application costs $100 (a lot of money in El Salvador). They require that you show that you have a good paying job, so that you will not “try to stay in the USA” and work illegally. It is truly inhumane.

When I first started working in La Mora, I was uneasy about what to do during their recess time. It is 45 minutes, enough time for all the kids to eat and play. I felt that I needed to work, or prepare for my classes. A 5 year old girl named Michelle would always come in and say “let’s play!” I would respond, “I have to work right now”. And she would respond, “No, let’s play!”

Now I do play, I sit with the kids and I talk with them and their teachers. My Spanish is still not perfect, I don’t always understand everything, but it is good to be with them. Pupusas and fresh fruit juice taste better at 10AM after teaching a few hectic music classes with kindergarten and first graders.

At the end of our music classes, we sing a song called "estamos descansado", we are resting. The kids in La Mora almost always pile on top of me in a giant hug, and we "fall asleep" together for about one minute. It is a sweet minute.

Salvadorans say “hay que descansar”, “one must rest”. I am learning to rest. I am learning to not take myself so seriously. I am learning to accept the love that I receive, and to give it back.

Casa Nueva

We are in a time of transition – getting ready to move to a new house. That’s right – we are leaving this incredible view:

Not by choice, but by the force of a slum landlord who doesn’t want to pay to fix leaks in the bathroom. Almost all the houses in Suchitoto are owned by richer people that live in the capital, or the states. The rent is high (for El Salvador) and many of the houses are falling apart. Ours is no exception.

So, our roommates requested that the leaks be fixed, and mentioned that there was something wrong with the electrical system of the house, and that some of the wood is rotting. Apparently, those were “too many demands” and they don’t have the resources to fix these things. Which is ridiculous, because they have 3 houses and land in Suchitoto alone. At any rate, they told us we had to leave.

Evicting us from our house due to our requests for repairs. It’s unjust. I feel like it’s also an example of a lack of a system. If there had been a contract, stating who was responsible for repairs, this never would have happened. I think many landlords don’t feel its their responsibility... which makes no sense. I digress.

Our new house is in front of our work and one of the schools that we teach at, which will be fun. We’ll have more space, and coconut and fruit trees. We are moving with our roommates Noel and Elba, with whom we have grown a sweet friendship. They are our El Salvadoran family, along with Nova our little black dog.

I will miss waking up to the greenness of the hills of Suchitoto, and the lake down below. Perhaps I will remember to appreciate it again. The lake and the hills are always waiting for us. Casa #81, Suchitoto, the tropical sun, it has been a healing place for me in so many ways. For that I am grateful.

We now celebrate one year volunteering here in El Salvador. It has been rich with experiences and wonderful people and bright colors. These next 9 months is a new chapter, may it be even better than the last.

"The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new" 

--Socrates

Iglesia de los Hermanos y Hermanas

We are back in Suchitoto. Today, as Chris and I walked down the street we felt loved. Not by one person, or a few, but by a whole community. Everyone on our street looked at us and said, “I see you”. They also said, “we have missed you – it’s good to have you back.”

I know my heart will always seek this. The kindness that our neighbors show us. A true “welcome home”.

One of our friends on the street is an elderly woman. She said, “I thought you had left without saying goodbye, and I thought how could they do that?!” She suggested that instead of going back to the states we should stay here and have a couple of kids. We can live in her house. She then informed us that she’s trying to be more “Barbie, like you all”. Haha!

We had a visit from the director from Brethren Volunteer Service (BVS), Dan McFadden. It was such an honor to have him here all the way from Elgin, Illinois, to have him see where we live and what we do. He is easy to be with and we laugh a lot! With every step of the way, our choice to be here at Centro Arte Para la Paz – and to be with Brethren Volunteer Service – is affirmed. The Church of the Brethren is a Christian denomination that has its roots in simplicity, humility and peace. I don’t think we could have found a better fit.

The nice thing about being a part of a small organization like this is the sense of community and support. Todd Bauer, our coordinator, lives in Guatemala. There are only 2 other volunteers in the region right now. We had a 5-day retreat in Antigua Guatemala with the other BVS volunteers (I started to write ‘treat’ instead of retreat, because it was such a treat!) We enjoyed good meals together, sharing of our experiences, and devotion time every night. Antigua is a beautiful colonial town, surrounded by volcanoes. The air is cool, it brings a sense of calm.

We were accompanied by Ann, a volunteer at Hogar de los Ninos Emanuel in San Pedro Sula, Honduras. She is doing a lot of cool work with the kids that live there, as well with helping the Toms Shoes project in Honduras! It's neat to see that their "one for one" business model really works in a community. Many of the kids in the schools that they give shoes to wear rubber boots every day and live in harsh conditions. Check out the video!

Jess was also in our retreat, who has arrived in Central America to first find her placement... possibly somewhere in Guatemala. It was fun to be with her during this time of transition. She is really interested in sustainability work and "getting her hands in the dirt". It will be fun to follow her story!

The nightly devotions were, in a lot of ways, my favorite time while in Antigua. We do not have a church community in Suchitoto, yoga and hammocks are my current spiritual practice. It was so nice to reconnect to God/the light/my inner self in community with others. While it is good to have a spiritual practice alone, it is good to be spiritual together, too.

We will be leaving Central America May of 2014, so we have around 9 months left in Suchitoto. This is precious time, I know it is. I want to appreciate the time we have, to learn as much as I can, and continue building community. While we will not live in El Salvador much longer, it has a piece of our heart and I know we will carry it with us wherever we go.

Also, as Chris recently discovered with his root canal, dental treatment is way cheaper here… a good excuse for a visit! :)

Here are some photos from Antigua... enjoy!

Aniversario de Suchitoto

I have been a true blog slacker lately, I apologize. Before July 4, I was really busy working, and enjoying friends, and eating pupusas. July 4 my fever started, and sore throat. I have been sick for almost 3 weeks now -- tired, headaches, sweats. I finally feel better. At the end of the day, I think it was just a weird virus. But, it could have been mononucleosis (the weirdest virus). All the exams I took came out negative. Sometimes we don't get to have an answer.

I was able to enjoy a little bit of the anniversary celebrations here in Suchitoto. There was a long parade through the plaza, featuring every school from every community near Suchi, as well as various other groups. It consisted of a lot of marching band music and banners. I've come to love the parades here, especially since now I know some of the people in them!

The choir had their first concert outside of Centro Arte, in front of city hall. I felt so proud of them, and all the students and teachers of the arts center. The harpists and guitarists played. The folklore dance group danced, the modern dance group broke it down, and the choir sang Waka Waka with gusto! It was neat to see how many students are participating in these workshops, and how much they have learned...

I was sick during the visit of our friends Ana and Jose from Spain. They are working with an organization from Spain that funds small projects around El Salvador. One of the fun things about Suchitoto is the people that pass through doing various volunteer and service work. We have built a sweet friendship with them, and hope to go to Spain and visit one day!

 

 

We are headed to the states for another visit. Every 3 months we have to leave the country for our tourist visa, so we are taking advantage of the opportunity. We will also spend 1 week in Antigua for our Brethren Volunteer Service retreat as well. 

While I am so excited to see my family, I am also sad to leave Suchi and the community we have here. I guess that's a sign of a place really feeling like home.